We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize