Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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