I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
