No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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