i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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