You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize