Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
