Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
