Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
