its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize