Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
