i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
