oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
