i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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