Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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