Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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