i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
