I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
