things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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