Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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