i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
