Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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