A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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