i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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