redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
