I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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