dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
