Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
