No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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