Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she pinky promised me she was 18
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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