Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
