bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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