Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
