better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
