I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
