Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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