I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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