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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
