something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
