oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
