So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize