It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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