carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
