apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize