p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
