a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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