i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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