just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
