So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
