i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
