I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
