When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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