Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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