It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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