I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ladies don't puke and tell