Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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(619): View more from California

You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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(229): View more from Georgia

New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

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(425): View more from Washington

So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?

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