well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
