you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
