I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
