I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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