Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
