i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
