Already got asked if we're dating
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
