after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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