Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
