my vag is so smooth its legendary
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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