I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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