I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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