Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
